Once, when I was taking an adult Bat Mitzvah class, I mused that, as a Jewish convert, the thing I missed most about Christmas was the smell of Douglas Fir in the hall. (Apparently, I’m not alone; the rabbi smiled and said, “everybody says that.”) I didn’t mention that I also miss my grandmother. Weeks before Christmas, she would scour the toy stores for that year’s hottest toy and prettiest clothes, and they would be waiting under the tree come Christmas morning. Every Christmas Eve, she used to pile her Lazy Susan with apples, filberts, chestnuts, and candies that we either ate immediately (wrapped miniature Hershey’s bars) or left to molder (sugared orange slices).
Christmas Eve, my grandfather might light a fire in the fireplace (or we might watch the weird burning-log show on KOFY TV 20) and, one way or another, Nat “King” Cole would sing The Christmas Song. We would run around frantically, hopped up on candy, until someone made us go to bed, then wake up far earlier than we ever would normally to demolish the stacks of gifts.
My house, come December, never smells like faulty old electric lights singeing a pine tree, minty candy canes, or egg nog. I miss the Christmas tree, but I don’t miss Christmas music, for the simple reason that I cue my favorite Christmas songs every Christmas. Most of the ones that follow are old favorites I grew up with — and thus my grandmother’s favorites — with a few newcomers. I play these every year and remember being very small and very happy.
10. Louis Armstrong & Velma Middleton — Baby It’s Cold Outside
Yes, everyone plays this song, but the interplay — recorded live — between Louis and Velma is hilarious. Christmas is all about double entendres and drinking too much anyway.
9. Diana Ross & The Supremes — Silver Bells
Diana and I have had our ups and downs, but Silver Bells is pretty and you can forgive her for ruining the Supremes, it’s Christmas.
8. Stevie Wonder — Ave Maria
While you are marveling at Stevie Wonder being a musical genius and stuff, it is easy to forget how pretty his voice is. He’s only seventeen here, and the gentle, quiet arrangement lets you hear all the youth in his voice. No one ever said Berry Gordy did not know how to produce a song.
7. James Brown — Santa Claus Go Straight To The Ghetto
My grandmother always kind of disliked James Brown, because she was all about phrasing and sometimes you just have no idea what JB is even saying. Here, however, he makes it plain: he has marching orders for Santa Claus. “Hitch up your reindeer, UNGH! Go straight to the ghetto.” How could Santa refuse, when the request is so very funky?
6. B.B. King — Merry Christmas Baby
Everyone swears this was my grandmother’s favorite Christmas recording. It’s at least one of them. I love blues-inflected Christmas, because is there really a more potentially depressing time of year besides maybe mid-January in Duluth? This is a happy blues song, though. For once, a bluesman’s baby is treating him right.
5. Mariah Carey — All I Want For Christmas Is You
How did this get here? Wow, must be a typo, sorry.
(My only defense is this: to get Mariah, you had to be there, before the polyester short shorts, before Nick Cannon, before Glitter, before Hello Kitty. In 1990 I was twelve years old. Mariah Carey’s debut album was on the Billboard 200 for 113 weeks. You do the math. There are more of us than there are of you. We will destroy you with our dog-whistle arias. Merry Christmas!)
4. The Jackson 5 — Santa Claus Is Coming To Town
If there’s anything inadvertently depressing about this exuberant Christmas carol, it’s how sad Michael probably was while he was recording the lead. You can imagine Joe Jackson standing, menacing, outside the recording booth while his boys captured the excitement of waiting for Christmas. Sigh.
3. Charles Brown — Please Come Home For Christmas
A lot of people think this is called “Bells Will Be Ringing,” because those are the lyrics that open this R&B lament. I don’t know very much about Charles Brown, but I hate everyone else’s cover of this song, including Bon Jovi’s and even Aaron Neville’s but especially The Eagles’. No one else sounds convincingly sad-sack. (No one believes Jon Bon Jovi has ever been alone for Christmas.)
2. Lou Rawls — Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas
This is so close to being my favorite Christmas song. Lou Rawls sings with such wry humor even when he is sad, and he is not sad here. He’s backed by a smooth big band, and the message is clear: it’s time to have yourself an extremely swingin’ Christmas. It’s best to do as Lou advises.
1. Nat “King” Cole — The Christmas Song
This is not exactly a deep cut. But it is the Christmas song. No one even comes close to matching Nat on this — it’s arguably his signature song. It’s bittersweet and his baritone is perfect and it can either make you warm with fuzzy memories or bawl, depending on what kind of holidays you’re having. I believe this was my grandmother’s favorite Christmas song, because it has been mine since I was tiny, and where else would I have gotten the idea?
Here’s Nat singing live on his show (I think), a version you don’t usually hear.
Have a swingin’ Christmas, y’all. Chag Sameach!
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